“What is something normal to say to your dog, but totally weird to say to a human?”: 15 Howlarious pupper pawrent quotes you wouldn’t be caught repeating at the country club

Laurent Shinar • Writer and Editor

Aug 29, 2026 7:30 AM EDT

When it comes to communicating with our canine children we tend to allow ourselves to be pretty free and loose with our terminology. As opposed to a hooman child who we would want to shield from learning bad words, or inappropriate sayings. Our puppers' lack of ability to speak hooman seems to inspire us to say some pretty howlarious things that we would never utter in front of another hooman.

Of course this collection of canine quotes comes to us from Ask Reddit, a place where people come together to ask the most burning and brilliant questions their mind has to offer. And when we came across this question it made us stop to think for a moment. For we pupper pawrents often speak without thinking when addressing our adorable dogs. Knowing that no matter how unfiltered we are, there is no chance they will ever repeat what we have said to them to someone else.

But at the same time that makes for some pretty hilarious and unhinged phrases that we would never think of uttering in the light of day. Yet, we do, often in public, just hopefully out of the earshot of other hoomans and most certainly not directed at them. That being said, there are more than a few here that you might find yourself using on a young hooman, though if things have gotten bad enough for you to need to use them, then you have bigger problems on your hands. So kick back and prepaw for a quality canine cackle or two.

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You know it is rather funny. While no one would want to be caught out saying any of these phrases to a person, no less in a public social setting. Certain phrases would be appropriate to use on a young child. Take this one for example. Sure, we cannot say that anyone would want to find themselves in the position to say this out loud. But that does not mean it cannot be said. To be fair, you do not really want to have to find yourself saying this to your canine child either, they lick your face…
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Yet another shining example of the parallels between young hooman children. Though unlike in the previous case, here the doggo version of the story is actually fine. While the hooman child version of the story is how you end up with a whole family of pink eye. Which is not easy to deal with, especially if you have a doggo loving family with young impressionable children. They will go around copying everything they see, everything.
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“What is something normal to say to your dog, but totally weird to say to a human?”: 15 Howlarious pupper pawrent quotes you wouldn’t be caught repeating at the country club

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